So Very Uncool

The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.

How Not to Advertise Your Product

I ran across the worst advertisement that I’ve seen in a long time. Microsoft made an ad for Office 365 that is soul crushing.

The ad is here but here is a local copy.

The Hitler of advertisements

Worst. Ad. Ever.

I can’t even believe that Microsoft would intentionally make an ad like this. The gist of it is if you’re a bozo of a manager who forces your employees to work over forty hours a week with no compensation, then you’ll love this product though you’ll be a horrible boss, too.

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19% of people can only poop while looking at interoffice memos

I don’t know about you but my throne room time is sacred. If I get up in the morning and I am about to have my morning constitutional the last thing I want to think about is some stupid powerpoint.

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If you can’t even get time off, change jobs. Seriously. This is lame.

What better way to tell an employee “I own you” by tethering them with a device that encroaches on the likely little time they get away from their job in the first place?

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Look at this picture while listening to Kanye West’s “Runaway”

This one is just plain infuriating and heartbreaking. Microsoft, please give me a way to be the self-important douchebag who can’t put the phone or computer down for an hour for my kids. I so want to be around my kids but not actually pretend to care or pay attention for even a moment. You see these clowns who put work before family and it’s just so callous.

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There is no leaving work. There is no life outside of work. Life is work.This is almost Orwellian.

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What? You thought you could talk to your spouse? Ha! Hope your benefits cover marriage counseling.

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Work until you pass out in a stupor in your bed only to do it again the next day.

Microsoft has a huge image problem. This ad is aimed at managers in companies who hate their employees.  This one ad exemplifies why consumers who use Microsoft’s products despise the brand and why people buy tablets and phones on literally any other platform than Microsoft’s.

As a consumer, why would I want a Surface tablet or Windows Phone when the same company is lobbying my management to work me 24/7?