So Very Uncool

The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.

Making a movie by the numbers

If you have ever seen a movie trailer and thought “Hollywood is out of ideas” that’s because, well … it is. Meet the folks who have the enviable job of analyzing scripts to make them more palatable to wider audiences.

While it’s easy to be an armchair quarterback, it’s not hyperbole when I say at least half the trailers for upcoming movies leave me thinking “Who the hell would go see that?!??” which is funny because I won’t turn down a lowbrow movie and even I have a hard time figuring out who some of these movies are made for. Consider some of the biggest flops of 2012:

  • A Thousand Words – Dear Eddie Murphy: Please go back to being the foul-mouthed comic that we fell in love with instead of making garbage like this, Pluto Nash, Meet Dave, The Haunted Mansion, etc.
  • Rock of Ages – A night of karaoke would have been more fun than this.
  • That’s My Boy – If you’re Adam Sandler you already have enough money to last several lifetimes. If you’re going to make things no one will watch at least make more things like Punch-Drunk Love than humorless crap like this or Jack and Jill.
  • John Carter – It wasn’t terrible per se, just not worth the hundreds of millions the studio threw at it.

At least two of those films had hugely bankable stars (Sandler and Tom Cruise) and none of them were really high-concept films yet they all looked awful from their trailers.